I’m a bitch. It is true. I can recommend you to some people who can back me up on that. But I am a lot more than that. I just listened to Meredith Brooks- Bitch for probably the twentieth time and it made me genuinely smile. Granted I am sitting in public with headphones on typing fairly vigorously on a computer so some people probably think I am crazy.
My whole life (barring the middle school years… awkward) I have been the petite “cute” girl. This is not a complaint at all. I am proud of who I am and love the body I am in. But people always judged me as just that. Then I grew up and, my goodness gracious, there is a whole new realm of adjectives that opens up in the adult world.
Being a little girl and being outspoken and hard headed I was dismissed as funny. Being an adult woman with that same drive and persuasion to speak my mind, I am bitch. I am also supposed to accept that or shut up (spoiler alert: not a chance). I am so much more than that though, just like a lot of other “bitches”.
The saddest part about the whole concept is, men aren’t the only ones who perpetuate this way of thinking in the business, academic, even military setting. Women are just as bad, if not worse. Why do we feel that to work our way to the top, we have to tear others down to step on? Guess what, when you get there like that, you are the next “bitch,” and it is awfully hard to defend yourself when you create that kind of aura around yourself. I have been just as guilty of perpetuating this mindset as the next person. I was told by someone in my chain of command when I first enlisted that “if you are a female in the military you are either a bitch or a whore, apparently you picked the first choice.” I believed it. I looked around me and labeled the other females in my mind. I even repeated that load of crap to a younger female private a year later. I am truly sorry for that.
The truth of it is, we as women can’t expect the male population to respect us and see us as everything we actually are, if we are the ones perpetuating the hatred against our own gender. I am not a bitch, I am ambitious. I am not a tease, I am comfortable in my skin. Brooks sums it up pretty well, “I’m a sinner, I’m a saint. I do not feel ashamed.”