Purity: the anti sexual way to sexualize

A friend of mine sent me this post (click “post” to open in new window) knowing it would give me a severe case of the feelings. At first I was livid then I was amused. Then I was sad and then I ate pizza rolls. That last part is not really important but it happened. No shame.

For those of you who did not click the link to the post (don’t lie. You know who you are) here is a summary:

This is a satirical letter regarding the modern purity movement. It is a movement that claims its base in Christianity. It is missing a key point of Christianity, however. Grace.  There is no tolerance for anyone else, any “mistake.” If the problem with youth today is that we put to much pressure on them then this is worse by 10 fold.

The purity movement focuses on daughters. Girls as young as 5 to give you more of an image. These girls are drilled to maintain their sexual purity. That alone isn’t a bad thing at all. If you save your virginity for marriage then great. Let us go a step further.

Not only should you not have sex until you are married. You actually belong to your father. Yes, the Father but also your biological, earthly father. When I say belong it isn’t “oh she is a daddy’s girl.” It is a contract to let your father run every interaction with the male of the species. A boy must ask permission to “get to know you” after spending an amount of time with your father. Then hell must freeze over before you are left alone together. What better way to teach trust and self control then to completely take the opportunity to use either out of the question.

Should you chose to hold hands or heaven forbid kiss a person, that is just to intimate. Leave room for jesus people. Most of these girls who are dragged into this extreme culture believe that if they were to kiss someone or hold hands before marriage, they are committing adultery because one day they will get married and any prior contact is cheating on that person.

Let us take a second and think about all of that.

Now. The purity balls that these believers throw are focused on the girls. They are taught to be modest and completely obedient to their fathers. They symbolically marry their fathers who will one day literally give them to another man, who will then own them.

So from a young age they are taught that to falter is to be a disgrace. To not abide by these rules makes them less worthy. They must cover themselves because men can’t be expected to control themselves and the girls are sinning by causing men to “falter in their thoughts or actions.” That is just how men are made. They are sex maniacs without expectation of self control and if they “falter” they are just men so that is how God made them.

Seriously guys, how is that not insulting to you as well? 

Not  to mention the fact that by telling girls they are not allowed to be physical beings they are constantly reminded and hyper sexualized in this weird convoluted mess of white dresses and shame. You think the secular world is full of constant sex, is it so much better to be bombarded with anti- sex?

Guess what: The focus is still placed on the female body as her worth and that she should be ashamed to be proud of the physicality of it. It is a shame culture under the guise of “empowering.” 

I am sorry but what the hell. Because that is what would be like. Hell. To be constantly told that you are property and struggle with the thought every second that something simple might cause someone else to think something and that makes it your sin.

I am not property. I am proud of myself and that includes the way I look. Yes I tend to dress more modestly but if I decide to wear something like a dress and high heels that makes me “feel pretty” it is not my fault or responsibility to control anyone else’s thoughts.

And for the women who keep writing that girls need to dress in a way more understanding of men so that men do not falter, one thing.  If you are so worried about your man straying because of some yoga pants then maybe you should examine your trust issues. Because personally, I trust “my man” to be faithful to me because of the love and respect that we share.


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