Purity: the anti sexual way to sexualize

A friend of mine sent me this post (click “post” to open in new window) knowing it would give me a severe case of the feelings. At first I was livid then I was amused. Then I was sad and then I ate pizza rolls. That last part is not really important but it happened. No shame.

For those of you who did not click the link to the post (don’t lie. You know who you are) here is a summary:

This is a satirical letter regarding the modern purity movement. It is a movement that claims its base in Christianity. It is missing a key point of Christianity, however. Grace.  There is no tolerance for anyone else, any “mistake.” If the problem with youth today is that we put to much pressure on them then this is worse by 10 fold.

The purity movement focuses on daughters. Girls as young as 5 to give you more of an image. These girls are drilled to maintain their sexual purity. That alone isn’t a bad thing at all. If you save your virginity for marriage then great. Let us go a step further.

Not only should you not have sex until you are married. You actually belong to your father. Yes, the Father but also your biological, earthly father. When I say belong it isn’t “oh she is a daddy’s girl.” It is a contract to let your father run every interaction with the male of the species. A boy must ask permission to “get to know you” after spending an amount of time with your father. Then hell must freeze over before you are left alone together. What better way to teach trust and self control then to completely take the opportunity to use either out of the question.

Should you chose to hold hands or heaven forbid kiss a person, that is just to intimate. Leave room for jesus people. Most of these girls who are dragged into this extreme culture believe that if they were to kiss someone or hold hands before marriage, they are committing adultery because one day they will get married and any prior contact is cheating on that person.

Let us take a second and think about all of that.

Now. The purity balls that these believers throw are focused on the girls. They are taught to be modest and completely obedient to their fathers. They symbolically marry their fathers who will one day literally give them to another man, who will then own them.

So from a young age they are taught that to falter is to be a disgrace. To not abide by these rules makes them less worthy. They must cover themselves because men can’t be expected to control themselves and the girls are sinning by causing men to “falter in their thoughts or actions.” That is just how men are made. They are sex maniacs without expectation of self control and if they “falter” they are just men so that is how God made them.

Seriously guys, how is that not insulting to you as well? 

Not  to mention the fact that by telling girls they are not allowed to be physical beings they are constantly reminded and hyper sexualized in this weird convoluted mess of white dresses and shame. You think the secular world is full of constant sex, is it so much better to be bombarded with anti- sex?

Guess what: The focus is still placed on the female body as her worth and that she should be ashamed to be proud of the physicality of it. It is a shame culture under the guise of “empowering.” 

I am sorry but what the hell. Because that is what would be like. Hell. To be constantly told that you are property and struggle with the thought every second that something simple might cause someone else to think something and that makes it your sin.

I am not property. I am proud of myself and that includes the way I look. Yes I tend to dress more modestly but if I decide to wear something like a dress and high heels that makes me “feel pretty” it is not my fault or responsibility to control anyone else’s thoughts.

And for the women who keep writing that girls need to dress in a way more understanding of men so that men do not falter, one thing.  If you are so worried about your man straying because of some yoga pants then maybe you should examine your trust issues. Because personally, I trust “my man” to be faithful to me because of the love and respect that we share.


The time TED lied… and forgot a step

Ok maybe lie is a bit harsh. ideas.TED.com had a clever article I stumbled on today. 6 Ideas From Creative Thinkers to Shake up Your Work Routine. Yes, it is a mouthful for a title but in true TED style they had it formatted seamlessly.

These tips were;

  1. Keep a schedule
  2. Take a walk
  3. Seek inspiration
  4. Stop while you’re ahead
  5. Take a mini sabbatical
  6. … they really only listed 5… So, there is that. Maybe they took a mini sabbatical to find some inspiration for #6. That clearly worked.

Isn’t that just beautiful and simple? I mean, how did I never think of this? OH! Because I am not Ernest Hemingway or Henry David Thoreau. I can’t sit out by my lake at my cabin in the woods drinking whiskey.

Here is the real, down and dirty, painfully true way that I find my inspiration.

  1. Wake up in the morning– after waking up in the biological sense this requires waking up in the much more real mental sense that requires highly processed foods and a coffee IV.
  2. Sit at the computer with a purpose– sit down ready to roll with every intent of being awesome and writing the great American novel… after checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest for three hours, and have three Clash of Clans battles.
  3. Start letting the words flow unashamed– start writing words. Whatever words happen to come out. My writing usually starts with “so how about this writing thing. Bound for success. Clearly writing is going to be the most productive thing ever. EVER.”
  4. Die a little inside– this requires laying on the futon in a puddle of  Cheese-it crumbs and MadMen for at least 6 episodes. 8 is advised.
  5. Have the right foods for creativity– I personally live on caesar salads, pasta, and vanilla soy lattes. Mostly vanilla soy lattes. And by pasta I mean Ramen Noodles.
  6. Read– read whatever you want. Not what you have to. If something is calling you to get out of your own head then listen. It is like when you crave bananas because you are low on potassium. You crave books and articles because you are low on words.

Writing is hard and scary. It is putting your art out into the world for others to see what you really feel. Writing is grabbing a piece of your soul and dragging it out into the sunlight for everyone to see.  It isn’t easy. It never will be. But that is what makes it the greatest thing in the world.

Sugar Cookies: educational for all

So folks, it has been a while. Let us kick things off with a real must read” article from BuzzFeed News. True to the style of this blog it had to deal with feminism, femnazi, general stupidity, or poor grammar. It is just by fate that the stars lined up and all of these things were handed down. Like a gift. A gift from the universe.

This woman is on a mission to expose a classroom full of second grade children, her’s and other peoples, to the female vagina. What better and more appropriate way to forcibly expose them to the details of the female anatomy than by eating it in effigy. On a sugar cookie. I would list all of the things wrong with that but I really don’t think that is necessary.

Right now I know you are thinking “No way that could possibly get any more inappropriate.” Oh, but it can. After proceeding to belligerently yell the word vagina over and over in the middle of the classroom, she thought she might need to make her feelings a little clearer by sending the poor teacher some electronic hate mail. Hate mail that shows how much of a supporter this woman is of equality and women overall.

You will, of course, have to experience this quick read on your own. Here is my favorite tidbit “You settled for less when you became a teacher because that is known for a woman’s job.” Not that birthing a child and baking aren’t traditionally female roles. Even if what you are baking happens to be vagina sugar cookies.

I will give her credit for creativity. I once made a cell model out of an omelet in 8th grade… but oddly enough never genitalia cookies. Please take a second and read this article. There is no way for me to do it justice. It gave me a good laugh and a little tear of despair.

Trapped in the Men’s Room

Everyone has those mornings. You know what I am talking about. The mornings where you wake up late, run to class, and forget to pee. Today was that day and the place was the Business college, where they expect you to be a serious grown up at all times.

I realized about half way through my 80 minute class that I had to pee. I am talking dancing in my seat like a kindergardener on their 4th juice box.  When class let out I practically ran (which was speed hobbling because, again, I had to pee) to the bathroom.  All of a sudden I heard a mans voice. I thought about it for a second and realized that the stalls were on the wrong wall. Yes folks, I was in the mens room.   Blinded by the fact I was seeing yellow, I somehow missed the fact that there were urinals against one wall. I was trapped in there, hoping they wouldn’t notice my Jessica Simpson flats under the stall door. Eventually the “bros” left and I escaped the confines of the Business college 1st floor men’s room.

Feeling the need to share this embarrassment with my loving, understanding, caring boyfriend; I texted him about this story. AAAAAND then he took a screenshot and posted it on Facebook. After that, why not share it with the rest of the world.