Purity: the anti sexual way to sexualize

A friend of mine sent me this post (click “post” to open in new window) knowing it would give me a severe case of the feelings. At first I was livid then I was amused. Then I was sad and then I ate pizza rolls. That last part is not really important but it happened. No shame.

For those of you who did not click the link to the post (don’t lie. You know who you are) here is a summary:

This is a satirical letter regarding the modern purity movement. It is a movement that claims its base in Christianity. It is missing a key point of Christianity, however. Grace.  There is no tolerance for anyone else, any “mistake.” If the problem with youth today is that we put to much pressure on them then this is worse by 10 fold.

The purity movement focuses on daughters. Girls as young as 5 to give you more of an image. These girls are drilled to maintain their sexual purity. That alone isn’t a bad thing at all. If you save your virginity for marriage then great. Let us go a step further.

Not only should you not have sex until you are married. You actually belong to your father. Yes, the Father but also your biological, earthly father. When I say belong it isn’t “oh she is a daddy’s girl.” It is a contract to let your father run every interaction with the male of the species. A boy must ask permission to “get to know you” after spending an amount of time with your father. Then hell must freeze over before you are left alone together. What better way to teach trust and self control then to completely take the opportunity to use either out of the question.

Should you chose to hold hands or heaven forbid kiss a person, that is just to intimate. Leave room for jesus people. Most of these girls who are dragged into this extreme culture believe that if they were to kiss someone or hold hands before marriage, they are committing adultery because one day they will get married and any prior contact is cheating on that person.

Let us take a second and think about all of that.

Now. The purity balls that these believers throw are focused on the girls. They are taught to be modest and completely obedient to their fathers. They symbolically marry their fathers who will one day literally give them to another man, who will then own them.

So from a young age they are taught that to falter is to be a disgrace. To not abide by these rules makes them less worthy. They must cover themselves because men can’t be expected to control themselves and the girls are sinning by causing men to “falter in their thoughts or actions.” That is just how men are made. They are sex maniacs without expectation of self control and if they “falter” they are just men so that is how God made them.

Seriously guys, how is that not insulting to you as well? 

Not  to mention the fact that by telling girls they are not allowed to be physical beings they are constantly reminded and hyper sexualized in this weird convoluted mess of white dresses and shame. You think the secular world is full of constant sex, is it so much better to be bombarded with anti- sex?

Guess what: The focus is still placed on the female body as her worth and that she should be ashamed to be proud of the physicality of it. It is a shame culture under the guise of “empowering.” 

I am sorry but what the hell. Because that is what would be like. Hell. To be constantly told that you are property and struggle with the thought every second that something simple might cause someone else to think something and that makes it your sin.

I am not property. I am proud of myself and that includes the way I look. Yes I tend to dress more modestly but if I decide to wear something like a dress and high heels that makes me “feel pretty” it is not my fault or responsibility to control anyone else’s thoughts.

And for the women who keep writing that girls need to dress in a way more understanding of men so that men do not falter, one thing.  If you are so worried about your man straying because of some yoga pants then maybe you should examine your trust issues. Because personally, I trust “my man” to be faithful to me because of the love and respect that we share.

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Blogosphere reaction- “…I’m not sorry.”

As the semester at BSU is taking off again I am back to spending the majority of my time on this little screen right here.  It has been a long few weeks but such is life. One person who has not been to busy to blog about their feelings is the author of this piece (click to open new window) on stay at home moms. 

I am a female soldier who was raised in a household with a strong working mother, a police officer, who taught me to challenge the world. She always told me that life would be harder for me if I chose certain career paths, but not to shy away from them.  She showed me that the world is full of beauty and judgement. My mother taught me that there is nothing wrong with being feminine and girly and equally nothing wrong with being strong and independent. Life is a balance.

The author of “I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry” has every right to feel the way she does though it appears that she doesn’t understand the importance of this balance in life. Being a mother and a wife isn’t easy and it does garner respect. To make the claim that these are not accomplishments is nothing shy of being plain bitter.  To say that you won’t have the time or energy to accomplish anything professionally with a husband and children and following that with implication that these things are not difficult is contradictory. To claim that men do not care to manage household is clearly proven false in the raising percentage of stay at home dads in society. 

In short articles such as this are what give the feminist movement a poor connotation and hide the truth behind feminism. By looking down on the tasks that have been historically placed in the female gender role category actually sends the message that women are lesser which is contrary to the point stated in the article.

The honest to goodness, what I think, no holds barred? This woman is bitter and tells herself that she doesn’t need a husband (or wife) and children to feel fulfilled because she is mentally and morally superior to women who do value these things.  In truth she is closed minded to a fault.  She is so blinded by her “cause” that she hurts her own argument and renders herself an unreliable source.