Coffee Monster is my Spirit Animal

Great news everyone! I found my spirit animal. Don’t judge. If people can pick unicorns I can pick him.

.spirit animal

It never says in the movie (Monsters University) but I am pretty certain this guy is a PR major. Look in his giant eyes and see the mix of terror and espresso. I promise that at least one of those is a vanilla soy latte (also known as the life force). And back in his room he has a pint of Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz stored in his roommates freezer.

That poor little monster is realizing that someday he will have to go out into the world and show what he learned in these four years and that someone at some point is not going to like it. Not only will they not like it, they might even hate it. Poor little coffee monster is headed to the library to pour over books and articles that he is constantly reminded are out of date by the time they are published because the big wide world is spinning way to fast for any coffee to help him.

Eventually coffee monster will realize that everything will be ok one way or another everything works out like it is meant to as long as he works his tail off and keeps putting his work out there into the world. They can’t all be misses right?


She Doesn’t Even Go Here!

Actually she probably does go here. Though I am not entirely sure how. I was standing in an incredibly long line for food and using the pause in my day to be productive. While standing there wasting away in the longest line ever, waiting for them to get my order wrong, I couldn’t help but observe the communication happening around me. I immediately regretted this decision as it resulted in my brain being very angry and a little sad.
The girls next to me in line were in a deep conversation. Granted it was a creative one considering that some of the words were not actually words. Here is an excerpt for you:

Thing 1: “He is so unsensitive, she already knows.”

Thing 2: “Seriously! It is like he is being a total douche. You know what? I can’t even right now.”

I really didn’t make it much farther than the first exchange right there. Oh really? Can’t you? Did you supposably figure out the pacifics of the sitch over some pasghetti? The truth is escary, my friends.

Sweet grammar Batman. Get it together. The only thing I could think of to respond would be the following memes. Thankfully there is a sitcom quote for every situation.


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